Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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