toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
So apparently I’m into choking now
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
