i just wanna soil my oats bro
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
