why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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