So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
