Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
