Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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