I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
