history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize