She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
