We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
