The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
