do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
