I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
