does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
