he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
