So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
