Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You are a genius and a whore.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
