no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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