after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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