Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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