Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
