wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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