drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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