I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
