you traded sex for a burrito?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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