she woke up with a sticky ear
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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