Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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