i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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