Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
