This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
