I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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