I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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