Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
