I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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