so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Randomize