Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The feeling are messing with the penis
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
