A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
