My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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