FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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