kristin has been a bad kristin
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
