Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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