do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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