and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize