just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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