found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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