what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
They are going to name an STD after you.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
