After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
