I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You smell like stripper and shame
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
His nipple licking is glorious
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