Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
