I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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