Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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