dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
