He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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