her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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