Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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