I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
