Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
my liver is dry heaving
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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