he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize