I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
