Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
