I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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