Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize