So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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