It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Sorry my hands just texted you
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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