Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
