This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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