JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
