do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
