We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
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