the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
