It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Well I just put wine in my tea
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
where are my pants?
in the oven.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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