Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
