i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
and you fell through a lawn chair
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
