He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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