Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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