apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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