I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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