if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
